think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
