Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
