i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I checked into jail on foursquare
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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