the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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