no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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