i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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