carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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