I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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