umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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