we have pet lesbian snakes
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
