Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.