Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
