I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
