Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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