she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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