Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
