when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
