Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
