Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
