Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
