I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
