I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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