Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
