The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she smelled like a LAN party
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my being single is dangerous.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
