I'm gonna have a badass scar
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
