i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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