It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
