That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
