In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
