tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
