I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i came on her dog
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
