i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize