I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
