Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
