this beer tastes like vomit already
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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