Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
