how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
