you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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