you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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