Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
