I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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