marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
