Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
