Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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