YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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