Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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