I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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