While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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