when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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