Christians are straight up FREAKS
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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