I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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