I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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