are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You pole danced in your parka.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
