Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
