why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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