She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
