i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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