grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
