you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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