I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
