): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Randomize
