Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize