This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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