i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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