rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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