the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was born a porn star she said
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
