We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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