Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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