drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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