get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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