Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
