I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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