is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
