The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
