all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
