we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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