Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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